When I got into college, after my first relationship in my 20s, I began to question a lot of things. The more parties I went out too, the more I moved with people, the more I generally liked everyone. While I did love a good, deep dicking, I couldn’t help liking the feel of a woman in my arms. The soft subtleties of her skin, the way our lips moved and oh my gods, those soft sweater puppies. I remember one time, in my philosophy class, I met this bright lady. She was a great student and very cute. After class one day, we had both entered the restroom and on the way out she squeaked “Have a good day!” and ran off. For the next three days all I could was sit and question my sexuality!
It was a hard three days, but I just considered it bisexuality. Yet, I didn’t want to have sex with her; I just wanted to be with her. I pushed it away again and became friends with this young lady. We are still really great friends, and I told her about it one day. She was so pleased that I caused these feelings, even though she was pretty hetero herself. It just really got me thinking about loving all people, no matter what they look like or how they identify sexually (but respecting their personal space).
I really only ever experimented with these feeling when I had consumed a Viking’s amount of booze, which makes me sad. I had a constant sexual partner, and I thought I was content. Well, I was content in a sexually sense because the sex was completely fulfilling. I was having rough sex often and got to go out to look and touch.
But now that the magic is over and I am alone, I am left wanting. What do I want? How do I know? How does one go about exploring all of this? I had a long drive with my friend Mini the other day as we chatted away about it. Just the idea of being in love with people, humanity and getting a little something something every once and a while. I want to explore on all these things. Bisexual, Polyamory.
I actually think I would be pretty content if I lead more of a polyamrous life. Having a main squeeze and having various lovers. Not lovers as in a fling a night, but people whom we can both bring home to dinner. Get to really know people inside and out, then share that wonderful experience called sex. I really want to get to know the world for all she is.
Sorry if this post is all over the place, but I seem to be all over the place. I hope to bring it down to earth soon.
Absent Mindily Yours,
A Blue Girl
Absent Mindily Yours,
A Blue Girl
